confusion, sadness, anxiety, pessimism all in one..

i feel that we're losing our connection. we live different lives now far apart from each other.you once said that i was very important and special to you, but those were just words you said that doesn't seem true. you know i love you, i've said that before. i did everything to show you how much i love you, but i guess i'm loving you the wrong way. maybe i still haven't learned how to sacrifice for love. my idea of love is being with you and having what i want. but i realized that it doesn't work that way. i should understand whatever you have to do or say. trust that what you tell me is true, so i won't ever fell blue. you also told me before that we have to be strong when we are apart. but i still can't take take the pain of the feeling of being torn apart. i still feel lost up to now. not knowing what place i have in your heart. all i ask is for you to explain, why you once asked me to stay. i miss the times when we go out. i miss the times when we talk on the phone. i miss the messages i suddenly receive, saying "gudnyt! switdreams!". but most of all, i miss the times when we're together. times when whe don't even need words to understand each other. we could just sit beside each other and know what we feel. i know that this is just another phase im going through. i just have to let out what im feeling right now. it's sad, i feel like giving up. i'm losing all my positivity. there are no words you could say and nothing i could do to change that. i'm sorry....