say it before the moment passes you by...

hay nako.. as usual, wala na naman ako magawa dito sa bahay. sabi ni faith sa blog nya, say i love you daw to the people you love. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! as in i really do. there was also a time that i read something from the bulletin board of friendster.. ngayong panahon daw we casually say "i love you" to anyone; but the question is do we really mean it? most of the us today just use these three words for the sake of saying it. but for others, they can't ever utter those words to the people closest to their hearts. ako, minsan i find it hard to my family that i love them. pero lam ko naman na deep inside alam nila that i do. as for my friends, my loves of my life, i always tell them that i love them. kasi if without them ewan ko lng kung ano na nagyayari sa buhay ko ngayon. as for the special some1 that i love, i also tell him(kung cno man cya) that. well you'll never know nga naman tlga kung kelan mo pa masasabi ulit yun diba?!? kaya might as well say it. besides totoo naman. i don't tell people that i love them if i don't mean it. pero ngayon.. meron nga ba akong mahal??? i used to love someone.. used to nga ba, o still love? i really don't know... you probably know who im talking about. 6 months ago everybody thought that this was going to be it. that i have found the one that i love and who would love me. sabi nga ng mga friends ko sakin, just wait a little more until he fixes his past tapos everthing will be ok na for the two of us. at inakala ko din un. it thought that eventually things between us would be good; great actually, pero hindi pala... when we started to go to college somehow things fell apart. no more time for each other and different lives to live. i can't help it. when i think about it tears seems to flow from my eyes. ngayon. ibang-iba na... bigla nalng cya nawala.. i felt so lost. i didn't know what hit me. parang bula sa bilis ng pagkawala nya.. one day i was spending time with him, the next he was gone.... he was gone... ewan ko kung anong nangyari sa kanya. bigla nlng hindi nagpaparamdam at hindi din nagrerespond sa mga paramdam ng tao. is he dettaching himself from us? the reason for his behavior i don't know. what i know is, i've been very patient this past 6 months and still trying to understand him. maybe he does have a valid reason. busy? oh well.. whatever!!! 3 days nlng ata at chritstmas na. and i still haven't heard from him. sabi nga ni patty lat month, give him till christmas. find out whether he's gonna contact me or something. kung hindi, tama na cguro.. eh pano na toh? lapit na ng pasko pero di p rin cya nagpaparamdam?!? mukang sign toh na gudbye na tlga... its so weird that im feeling kinda ok about it. pero of course may halong takot pa din. after christmas what would happen to me? grabe, di ko inakala na in 6 months time ay sobrang daming mangyayari sa life ko. from be depressed about him to having my crush as my new bestfriend to you know, feeling something for another friend. oh what the hell is happening to me?!? sobrang windang talga ng mundo ko! what would happen to me next year? iw ish for something good to happen.. whatever that is, basta sana something good in my life. sa bagay, di ko lang naman actually napapansin na sa bawat malungkot na pangyayari sa buhay ko ay may kasunod na maganda out of it. we just have to open our eyes and see the window that opens after the door closes. totoo naman tlga un. basta, keep your eyes open. and alos your hearts and minds... anything is possible...