holding back, holding on, not letting go... pare-pareho lng...

ganyan talaga ang buhay. may mga tao n sadyang magbait at maintindihin. hinahayaan nlng nila ang mga bagay-bagay sa mundo na kailangan harapin ngunit ayaw nlng guluhin. as i always say, it's not bad to let out your anger. let the other person know what you feel ang think. why hide it? what the point? where will you get from there? if you hold back on things, you'll never know what could have happened, and that would haunt you for a long time. it's not bad to be a good and understanding person. that's actually ideal. but ideal is far different from real. kaya nga ideal dba, kc thats what we want to obtain. so back to my point, if your holding back the things you feel inside just for the sake that things don't get complicated and everyone will be happy; well,, thats a wrong move. how could you be happy if your keeping all your anxiety, doubts, fears, thoughts, or whatever inside?!? eh di ba un ung magiging reason para maharangan ung happiness mo? kasi things are not settled. you still have so many worries and it stops you from doing the things that would make you happy. it would also stop you from saying things you want to say, express felings you want to share, and do whategver that would absolutely, positively make you happy. oh dba tama ung point ko?!? hehe oh well, marami din naman akong natutunan sayo... and i also try to reflect on them. this is what's great in our lives.

about a guy named james, being fat, and you know who...

andito na naman ako. back here to write my thoughts today. my day was kinda long. pagod n nga ako from school tpos binadtrip pko ng kuya ko! grrr talga un! grabe talga c james.(ung guy n ktxt ko s sun ko) girlfriend daw nya ako! duh?!? okie lang sya???? keeps on trying to be sweet when he texts me. saying take care, and cheesy stuff like that! i mean yah, its kinda nice to have a concerned so-called "friend". but he's gotta know where to draw the line. i haven't even met the guy. he says he's from ateneo and that he's a varsity there. oh whatever. sana ung guy nlng n gusto ko ung sweet and mushy sa akin! kilig pako nun!=D grabe! sobrang taba ko na!!!! i miss the way i look back when i was in 4th yr. highschool. i was a bit "less fat" then than the way i look right now. VAIN!!!! whahaha!!!=D oh well, it's bad din naman kc if ur too fat noh. grabe.. kaninang lab time namin, kausap ko c patty bout love stuffs. sabi ko sa knya ang sad n nga situation ko mas lalo pko nasasad dahil sa mga naiisip ko bout it. kasi di ko n nga lam kung in what way ako love ni ano noon, tapos ngaun feeling ko di n nya talaga ako love. he used to tell me that he luvs me, pro ngaun hanggang ingats nlng cnsbi nya. pero napag-isip isip ko rin na tama ung cnbi ni patty sakin.. sbi nya maybe he's just not ready to say it or di nya lng tlga alam ung sasabihin sakin. bka daw nag-iisip pa c ano at hindi pa nakakapag-decide kung ano nga ba tlaga. sbi din ni patty n i should give him time to think. maybe i could wait daw kahit until christmas and see what happens. sana nga may makuha akong kahit konting answers from him by christmas. there's a posibility n magkita kami sa nov. 20. that's a saturday. birthday celebration kasi ng mutual friend namin. i don't know if i wanna go there. ang weird ko noh?!? i've been saying it a lot of times that i wanna spend time with him pero ngayon pag naiisip ko n mgkikita kami parang kinakabahan ako. i know kasi na it's gonna be awkward pag nagkita kmi ulit. di naman kasi automatic samin n pag nagkita kmi we'll give each other a hug tpos mega usap na like "uy! i missed you!" kami ung tipong "hi.." tpos kanya-kanyang conversation na with friends. besides malabo na mapag-usapan namin ung issues between us dun sa party. una dahil inuman un. duh!? cyempre gud time lahat! pwera lng pag may nalasing!=D tpos cyempre dun cya sa tropa nya. tagal n nila di nagkakita-kita so cyempre they have some catching up to do. quality time with friends kung baga. and i don't wanna steal that time from him. kaya lng, what's sad bout that is pag andun n cya sa mga friends nya, wala ng matitirang time for me.. pero cge, ok n din... sanay na naman ako eh.. o cge na, windang nko ulit eh. whehehe

need help sa math!!! please!!!!

para sa mga susunod na mga araw na dadaan wala akong balak mag-drama. as much as possible kailangan ko ayusin ang buhay ko.. meaning: try to fix my studies and extracurricular life. hay nko naman noh! ayoko nang ulitin ulit ung algebra ko! grarrr!!!! as in!!! my friends, i need all your prayers, moral and spiritual support for this... serious na bagay toh... can u give me some tutorial sessions for the next few weeks? kahit pag saturdays lang... or pag free kau... please naman oh! im so stupid at math! and i have to pass 3 tests to pass this subject.. just e-mail, txt, or call me if you are willing to help. thanks alot guys!

my world, my life, my day.... AYOS!

haay... another day has passed by... muntik nko ma-late sa alge knna kakahintay kay rain sa labas ng greenheights. inunahan ko nlng cya pumasok. after alge class, nagkita kami ni mai sa library tpos niyaya nya ako pumunta ng RP instead of attending intphil. ayun, ngpa-B.I. naman ako at sumama! bumili kami ng bday gift nya for cheeno tpos nglunch kami sa pizza hut!!!=D roast beef na stuffed crust! yum! inggit nga cna patty, issa, at micha eh! whehehe after lunch bumalik n kami sa lasalle to attend inersci class. after class naman tambay muna sa u.m. with louie, mok, and their friend chris. yosi break muna dun bago umuwi... nag-bus kami ni mok pauwi tpos ung cna lui at chris naman nag-jeep. flip talga kami!=D

so eto ung mga happening sa araw ko ngaun... tonyt i have to finish my artapre paper! grar!!! ay! pumunta pala dito sa haus ci rain! wala lng nangulit lng saglit... asus! cge na nga, at madami pko gagawin! lotsa loves!!!! mwuah!!! ahihihi!=D

mga saloobing aking ipinapamahagi sa inyo

haay... bakit nga ba pag may kailangang liwanagin ang isang tao ni hindi kayang sabihin sa taong malapit sa kanya? kahit ikaw na ang taong nasasabihan nya ng kahit ano, di pa rin nyang magawang ibahagi ito sayo. sabi nga ng isa kong malapit na kaibigan... may mga bagay talaga na hindi mo kayang sabihin kahit ito ay gusto mong ipamahagi at ilabas. kung ano pa ang dapat at gusto mong sabihin, un pa ang hindi mo kayang ipaliwanag... totoo nga ang sinabi ng kaibigan ko. may mga bagay talga tyong hindi mapipilit alamin... ito ay sadyang mamumulat sayo... pansensya at pag-intindi ang kailangan sa mga sitwaysong ganito. hindi ito minamadali dahil ang panahon ang siyang kusang mgsasabi kung ito ay nararapat mo ng malaman. sana ay napaisip kyo sa aking mga saloobin. kayo sana ay magkaroon ng mas malawak na pang-unawa sa mga tao sa buhay nyo na may sitwasyong ganito. at kung sakali namang kayo ang nsa ganitong sitwasyon, sana ay makatulong ito upang mabigyan kyo ng lakas ng loob na sabihin ang nararapat sabihin.

things we all should know

Did you know that when you envy someone, it's because you really like that person? Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are real weak and most susceptible? Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need some one to protect them? Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are : "I love you", "sorry" and "help me"The people who say these are actually in need of them or really feel them, and are the ones you really need to treasure, because they have said them. Did you know that people who occupy themselves by keeping others company or helping others are the ones that actually need your company and help? Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves? Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their beauty? Did you know that those who dress in black, are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding? Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds? Did you know that those who need more of you are those that don't mention it to you? Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face?But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face? Did you know that what is most difficult for you to say or do is much more valuable than anything that is valuable that you can buy with money? Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted? Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling inlove, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and if you really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could do. But don't believe everything I tell you, until you try it for yourself . if you know someone that is in need of something that I mentioned, and you know that you can help, you'll see that it will be returned in two-fold . DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU COULD ALWAYS COUNT ON ME? AT THE MOMENT, TIME AND PLACE THAT YOU NEED ME.. CALL ME, I WILL BE THERE WITH YOU! SPECIALLY TO THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN THERE FOR ME..

katamad mag-attend ng class!!!

elow! dito ako nagaun sa gokongwei bldg. with my kuya jan. pano ngayon plng ginagawa ung paper nya sa PHILHIS eh samantalang mamayang hapon na yun ipapasa. sabagay, kaninang umaga ko din lng natpos ung akin!=D whehehe ang hilig talga mag-cramming!!!=D asan kya si issa ngayon? sabi ko pa naman dun mgkita kmi pag-dating ko ng skul.. naku! bka tumatawag n un sa cellphone ko!?!? nka-silent p naman ngaun tpos nsa loob p ng bag ko! whaaaaa!!!! kawawa naman si issa...=D haay... gusto ko na umuwi... gawa pko nung essay sa intphil namen.... grrr!!!!

welcome to my life

kanta muna tayo!=D
sImpLe plAn:wElcOmE tO mY lIfE

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me
To be hurtTo feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kickedWhen you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

faith and anson... thanks guys...

oh well... thanks for reading my journal religiously. obvious tuloy n wala kayong magawa sa oras nyo. hehe
anyway, i also wanna thank you for all the comments you post here. your advises are very helpful and i truly appreciate them. malay nyo, i may take your advise. move on and let go. we'll never know what could happen naman dba? maybe this is the best thing that i could do... i intend to move on and not look back... so guys, wish me luck! thanks so much for being my friends! love you!